I'm Gonna Get You Sucker Punch

Batshit Outta Hell
review by Tony Freitas

When an artist is as talented stylistically and visually as Zach Snyder ( Dawn Of The Dead remake, 300, Watchmen) you kinda wish he'd add a little depth to his skill set. Sucker Punch is a brain fart that somehow seeped out of Snyder's head onto the screen... and the fumes are noxious.

While Sucker Punch on the surface  appears to be a gamer's dream - visual excitement, hot chicks, and alternate reality high jinks - even the most non-discriminating fanboy will tire of the film's repetitive loop.  It's five levels of estrogenized Warcraft hosted by a troop of emotionally damaged Gossip Girls. And each tedious level offers the exact same song and dance. And let's get to that; the song and dance.  Where to start? Where to start?

Baby Doll (Emily Browning) of bee stung lips and catholic school girl you-know-you-want-to-screw-me skirt, is whisked away to the Lennox Mental Asylum after accidentally shooting her sister while trying to protect the young girl from evil step daddy's sexual advances. Before you can say "toys in the attic, she is crazy", Baby's on the crazy train to lobotomization five days hence.
So the dancing I mention earlier - Okay, so, you see, there's the real world and then there's the fantasy world that Baby's created as a coping mechanism within the asylum (I'm just guessing at this). In the fantasy world the asylum is a bordello and all the femmes/patients are prostitute/whores. And, you see, there's this dance class that the girls attend to escape the horrors of reality/ fantasy.  The dance class is taught by Dr. Vera Gorski (Carla Gugino), psychiatrist, madam, dance instructor and Warsaw ghetto survivor ( her resume and dance card are full to overflowing).

Free your mind and the rest will follow

So, when the women dance it takes them to a world inside where they can escape the pain and horror of life's abuses, even if this escape world is all muddy taupes and grey-blues (and megatron feudal warriors and literal steampunk gas masked nazi soldiers. Hey, that kinda makes me want to see this film. Oh, wait,  I saw it. I guess it's not as good as it sounds). I suppose butterflies and zebras and fairy tales would have been the more obvious choice.

We were talking about dancing. So Baby's first day in dancing class in the cathouse asylum -- Free your mind and the rest will follow. Baby feels the music and, as a light unexpected indoor flurry of delicate snow flakes tickle her  thickly mascaraed lashes,  she's transported to a Japanese temple where she finds The Wise Man/Greyhound Bus Driver (Scott Glen). "Five things to find you must. A map, a fire, a knife and key. The fifth thing, unknown it is, but a great sacrifice it shall be, Luke... er, Baby Doll."

Meanwhile back at loony bin/brothel other scantily clad young ladies of the night/snake pit prisoners/ X-Factor hopefuls including Gabriella Montez, the woman that ruined Reese Witherspoon's marriage, the emancipated minor and a Tri-Pi sister, are mesmerized by Salome/Baby Doll's gyrations of liberation (that we never actually see, though her moves are mentioned in the same breath as Isadora Duncan, The Pussycat Dolls and Charo) and an escape plan is hatched.  If all this sounds so bat shit crazy that it might be fun, I urge you to think twice.

I won't even get into lack of relatable story, characterization or  emotional connection, because there is none to be found. Sucker Punch has the resonance of Final Fantasy VI, and as for female empowerment, it's fathoms below the emotional complexity and dramatic tension of the Powerpuff Girls.